My first foray into the culinary arts was making bran muffins from a mix when I was 23. I poured half the package into a bowl, added the water and the raw egg then read the instructions. “Mix by hand.” Real bakers are recoiling right now thinking, “You didn’t!!” Oh, but I did. I rolled up my sleeves and dove in to the goop. I figured if I was supposed to mix it with a spoon, it would have said “Mix with a spoon”.
I got better. Give me some ground beef and I can make pretty good chili or BBQ some tasty burgers. When my kids were small, they referred to spaghetti and tacos as “Dad dinners”.
But I would watch the food shows, and dream of creating a gourmet meal. Mine were more like what you’d see on Diners, Drive ins and Dives. Only not as high end.
It was frustrating. The only thing “bleu” about my cordon bleu cooking was the language. If you find Gordon Ramsay’s language offensive, best not to come within earshot of my kitchen.
But like a lot of people, I am taking this coronavirus lockdown as an opportunity to learn something new. Like real gourmet cooking.
My first creation was a Tomato and Basil linguine, which I’m happy to say has turned out well, if still somewhat inconsistent.
Next up, Croque Monsieur. Not as much of a success. It seemed like a lot of work for what was essentially a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.
Then on to a real challenge. My favourite restaurant’s specialty. Veal Scallopini in a Mustard and Cognac Cream Sauce. It was for our anniversary dinner. The pressure was on. The great thing about the internet is there are so many places to find recipes. The bad thing about the internet is there are so many places to find recipes. I was a little overwhelmed. Like Goldilocks some were too simple, some were too complicated. I finally settled on one, but it called for brandy. I called substitution and went with cognac. It recommended Dijon mustard. I had found two others in the store, Herbes de Provence mustard and Whole Grain mustard. I decided to combine all three. A gamble, I’ll admit, but my dad always said, “Go big or, go home.” My side dishes were simple. Roasted potatoes seasoned with Italian spices and green beans and carrots cooked in ginger garlic. It all came down to the Mustard and Cognac Cream sauce. I diced the shallots and cooked them till they were translucent. I added the three mustards and the cognac, let that simmer, then poured in some heavy cream and stirred. Then I tasted. It was pretty darn good. My wife loved it. It was a success. I felt good, but there was that final, ultimate test. I posted a picture of it on Facebook! I got some thumbs up and smiley faces, even someone who asked for the recipe. But dare I hope for more? Then it came. I was invited to join an elite society. The Facebook group called “Show us your food porn”. I had arrived.
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